August, My Lonesome Dear, May the Hunt Go On

August has found its way to a close once again and there wasn't a damn thing I could do about it. I tried. I did. But the candle is closing down and that will be that. Tonight I find myself in an expensive high-rise in the middle of downtown Kansas City. I'm told that Kansas City isn't a "cab town" by the driver of my taxi. I asked him if he had heard of the writer, Dan Fante, and went on to say, "Well, he used to drive a yellow in New York for a long time and then decided to write about it. Mentioned that he use to keep a sawed off ball bat under his seat and got knocked off a couple times." The driver adjusted his rearview so he could see me better and said, "What was the man?" Not an odd question, but a contemplation of an answer. I told him, "Dan Fante. His dad was John." I knew that wouldn't really clear up the fog and I also realized that I should drop the questions about what kind of armaments may or may not be tucked 'neath his fat ass. After that, he told me about how a "family man" runs the cab business in KC. He had worked the area for over 25 years and now, because of John Whoever, the cab business was sinking. Hard to make a buck. The guy had political pull and whatnot. He said, "Most people call them instead of his cab co. because he's got the strong arm". I offered my most believable condolences. I think he bought it and I nearly told him that my first call was to that company because it was the first to come up on Google BUT THEY DIDN'T PICK UP THE PHONE. But he was kind of an over-weight, late-age sort of fellow and I didn't want to fuck up my ride to the bar with a heart attack on the side of the 435. Finally, we had both been somewhat uncomfortable and realized that talking was useless. I think we both knew that from the start but had to give it a shot. We got to Westport. I paid him the fare plus a 2/3 tip on top and walked like a man that can't be touched to the VIP lounge. Then I hit my beer and a shot of whiskey and stared from the balcony at the miles and miles of cleavage below, knowing that I wasn't going to bang any of them tonight, but taking small consolation that neither was the cab driver.

Is it June again?

Hot Water

She asked if I was dirty
I told her yes

We got in the shower and she started
washing her hair as I
kept my place at the back
of the bathtub
mostly groping her thighs
and giant breasts

She thwarted my advances
so I began soaping up myself

I said, "Hey baby, would you look at this
mole and see if it's alright?"

I had my arm chicken-winged awkwardly
pointing to a place on my back

She said, "Well, I don't know what alright looks like"

I asked her if it was symmetrical
Did it have any odd discoloration?

"Babe, I think it's a blackhead!"

I turned around and said, "Feel free
to say no, but do you mind getting rid of it?
I'll understand if you don't want to
I'm sure I could get my sister to do it"

She told me to shut up
I turned around and she began
the minor surgery

That was the point which I realized
the relationship was going to be
a long one


TV Down

I've never been
much for possessions or experiences
that seem like possessions
It all goes to shit anyway
I guess
I like this possession
that I'm typing on
And the possession that I'm drinking

I'm not blessed
at all
but I have everything I want
A decent woman
with three kids
that aren't mine

Materialism disgusts me more
than the fact that I live
a life that knows what materialism is

I need to go get another possession
from the icebox

If you can't feel comfortable throwing your TV
out the apartment window
then it's going to be a lonely death

I mowed the grass today and saw flowers
cut in half
As disheartening as it was
I saw the birds
following me


Way of the Wild

I took out the gardening sheers
to cut down a sapling
that was blocking my country mailbox

I finished and walked back to my porch
to have a drink of beer
It was hot
95 by noon

As I gulped my beer
my eyes followed the eves of the porch roof
I saw a wasp nest dangling
and I didn't hesitate to smack it
with the sheers
and kick it off the porch

I sat down to cool off
and finish the beer
when a wasp came buzzing
it was quickly apparent to me
that she was looking for her nest

I felt
terrible